Not Enough

by AJ

I can't escape the gnawing feeling that my classes are merely "above-average". I know for certain that they are not "great" and they certainly are not "transformative".

I also know that from a big-picture, philosophical, glaring-in-the-face-of-the-infinite perspective, it doesnt matter.

But while Im here, while Im alive, while Im enjoying teaching... I choose to immerse myself in it. I seek excellence for its own sake... for the joy of the effort, vision, and collaborative process (with the students). Im also selfish.... if Im going to spend 15-18 hours a week in class, I want those hours to be fun, transformative, ecstatic, and interesting FOR ME.

But Im no where close. This bugs me and motivates me.

I want my classes to be something more than just "English class". I want more than good test scores (truthfully, I dont give a damn about test scores).

I want engagement. I want involvement. I want to inspire and be inspired. I want energy and enthusiasm and wonder and curiousity.

But how? How do I, as the acknowledged leader of the class, catalyze (help create) these? How do I transform the class from a boring language class into something GREAT?

I know one thing, I can't do it by myself. I must find a way to unleash the creativity, energy, and power of the students.

But how?

......